Identity Crisis

Identity crisis, when someone struggles defining who someone is, usually themselves.
How are we identified as people, as a person? What criteria do we use; what we look like, how we dress, who we hang out with, what we believe?
Of course not! Society has somehow evolved into defining a person by what they do occupationally, and only that. The second sentence after "Hi my name is" is "What do you do?" And we simply reply without thought, "Oh I'm in real estate." And within two sentences "Becky, in real estate" has been defined, identified, classified, categorized, and all the like.

Now, as I find myself being asked that question by the lovely people of Myrtle Beach I can't decide if i want to be a wise guy or say something thoughtful.  I usually say something like "I'm exploring my options" which i think sounds optimistic and better than "unemployed". Though I chose to quit my job, think about how devastating that question could  be for someone who didn't choose that.

With the help of 48 Days to the Work You Love and having time to reflect I have been able develop a better idea of what I want (the question that started the avalanche last Sept.) and how all jobs along the way should support your overall life calling/purpose not directly define it. Instead of asking "what do you do?" why not ask, "what is your calling?" or even, "what do you like to do?"  How many people work at banks or schools but have passion's in life that have nothing to do with their job.

So I encourage you, the next time you are asked "what you do" be creative with your answer. Also try to be original, start a conversation with a genuine question or topic not a routine, thoughtless one. You would probably get to know and understand someone a lot better that way, that is of course, if you care to know and understand them.

The Sea of Possibility

I have set sail in the Sea of Possibility. There was great excitement preparing for the journey and leaving the Land of Stuck. Trouble is, it's starting to feel like I set sail without a map and compass. With the view of endless sea stretched out before me to the east, west, north, south and every conceivable direction, it's hard to choose a course. You don't want to pick the wrong one, so you wait to see if a proper course will make itself evident...but it doesn't. At least not in the timely manner which you need it to or want it to. With indecision, you begin to feel you are just drifting. Then you begin to feel lost. Lost at sea. What does it really mean to be lost? To not know your whereabouts? To not know you current location in relation to you desired destination? If you don't even know your desired destination, you would never truly know where you are going and I suppose you would always be somewhat lost or at least drifting.

Am I a drifter? Am I born to walk alone? While "I've made up my mind and (decided) I ain't wastin' any time" like the Whitesnakes , I actually do want to know where I am going. I initially have thrown most of my thoughts into physical locations but maybe it isn't necessarily a place (yet) that should be the focus but rather identifying a purpose.

Last week the job searches became overwhelming and I realized that I might be a little too "open-minded" for Internet job search sites. My days were just flying by and I could not tell you what the heck I even did with them. I mean I would look for hours, but I didn't really accomplish much or feel like contributed to the productivity of my day (most days).

I went home this past weekend for my cousin's graduation and my dad's birthday. It was great to be home for many reasons but mostly it was great because I spent the whole time with family. I was happy that I could be home to share these special occasions. I was able to spend the day with my dad on his bday, Monday which was special and uplifting.

Even though, my dad is now retired he read a book within the last 6 months or so titled "48 Days to the Work You Love" by Dan Miller. I think he heard about it from Dave Ramsey's show, who wrote the forward for the book. He has quoted the book numerous times since Thanksgiving. As a matter of fact, when my dad had a "sit down" with me at Christmas about my life and what I was doing with it, he referred to a statement in the book that most people change jobs/ careers 4 to 5 times. I found that number a little high but was encouraged he thought it was acceptable anyway. So I had full intentions of asking to borrow the book when I was there last weekend.

I am only on day 3 but I feel positive that it will help provide a compass (for the long run). I first noticed that the title doesn't say the "Job You Love" but rather it's the "Work You Love". The book's premise is "Looking inward is 85% of the process of finding proper direction, 15% is application to career choices." (side note: I found a similar article yesterday in Forbes.)

The anxiety is still climbing as it is time to relocate and the dollars keep adding up. I had my second MRI for my shoulder Tuesday, so I should hopefully get the results today or tomorrow. Either way, I will feel better knowing what I am dealing with and it will help give me some direction while navigating the vast Sea of Possibility.