3 weeks.
3 weeks is about the amount of time it took me to say, "oh crap" after quitting my job.
Human perception is a funny thing. When people go on a diet, the #1 piece of advice I hear over and over from nutritionists, or anyone giving advice on the subject, is to keep a food journal. Why? Because people tend to grossly underestimate the amount of food and calories consumed and grossly overestimate the amount of exercise and calories they burn. I'm inclined to think the same can be said with finances.
I can only think of maybe one or two times I've checked my bank statement and actually said, "Yesss! I have way more in there than I thought I did!" It's usually about what we expect, what we plan for, and sometimes it's a little less. Though I was fully aware of what was to come when making the decision to quit, it's a bit different actually living in it. My "oh crap" moment came when the reality of paying my COBRA bill set in, $670.
I probably had the best health insurance I will ever have with my previous job. My hip surgery last May cost less than my cat's annual vet visit (also last May, yes, I know that means she's due). Of course as great as the insurance is, with those outrageous monthly dues, I wouldn't hold on to it if I didn't need to. Just before I left, I was having shoulder pain, decided under the circumstances I might as well get an MRI to be sure. Turns out the radiologist believes I have a labral tear, same injury as my hip. Yaaay. So I precede to interview some surgeons and turns out, I received 3 different opinions. The Broward County revolving door office had me on the surgery books before I left without much explanation of anything. My hip surgeon doesn't believe I have a tear, and the third surgeon believes I have 2 tears and a fracture. My referring doctor calls the radiologist to review the MRI more closely after which he then states he believed I have micro-tears and a hill-sacks lesion. So, I find it a little hard to move on to an individual health insurance policy at this point since they have this little thing called "preexisting conditions."
I go for my second MRI May 1st at which point I will hopefully be able to make a decision as to weather or not to have surgery. I do not want to have surgery. Especially after just having had surgery less than a year ago. I guess it doesn't really help that I am unemployed at this point does it? Although on a positive, I would have plenty of time to recover!
Friday, April 20, 2012
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
30 to 30: The Back Story
I am a bit behind on getting my blog up and running but here is my best attempt at a "brief as possible" summary.
When growing up, you expect certain milestones in your life will, along the way, just happen. Graduate high school, go to college, graduate college, get a job and somewhere in there you get married and then sometime after that you get a house, have kids and live happily ever after. The realization that this just wasn't so made a few mildly memorable impressions before now; like looking for an internship and finding my first job (that stuff for me certainly didn't just happen.) I would speak of things I was going to accomplish and life events with certainties. These things just magically happen right? I mean especially by 30!
Graduating college was pretty much the end of any "actual plan" I ever had.
Now What?? I wasn't married, was having trouble finding a job and I found myself right back in my hometown (the one place I swore I wouldn't go, but finances said otherwise). At 24 I accepted a job with a City in South Florida. Finally! I was off to explore the world, live my life and surely these "life" things will follow.
Though it was not my dream job it was a solid start and the first step, a stepping stone for the rest. And it was, at first, but shortly after the move, Kat Splat tripped all over that stepping stone. Things did happen there, life happened; a bad break up, bad economy and a few other bad scenarios left me focusing on the day to day and less on the world of possibilities around me. Compared to Tally or Jax, Ft. Lauderdale was pretty fast and it was hard to connect.
Turning 27 hit me kind of hard. Realizing that practically none of the things that I thought would "happen" by 30, had actually "happened" and a lot of things I never thought would happen, did. So I sat down and compiled a list of all those things I wanted (expected) to accomplish by 30. While compiling this list, 3 things occurred to me.
1) Limitations of control. As much as I wanted to list "get married" or "land dream job" by 30, I couldn't. I alone do not have control over this. Though slightly discouraging, this lead me to my second realization.
2) Setting and accomplishing (realistic) goals is extremely empowering. Though I can not single handedly accomplish things like getting married there are a lot of things within my power. Not only were things within my ability it was my responsibility to recognize and accomplish these ambitions. Seems simple I know, it's the application of being proactive that's the hardest.
3) I didn't have 30 things to list!
I started adding and checking things off my list, revising it from time to time. Things at work improved then declined. I moved again, but I still felt completely disconnected with South FL. I didn't understand it's ways, it's people, it's priorities. I'd say to myself, I'll leave when this happens or when that happens, but those things rarely happened or if they did something else would come along leaving me to say the same thing.
The inertia began at a work conference in Sept 2011. When discussing certain work politics with a respected manager from another county, he asked a question that honestly changed my life. I was unhappy with a certain situation involving upper management and he asked me, "Well, what do you want?" Within the context of our conversation it was referring to my current career but it has resounded in my head to this day. What did I want? If I wanted to move up in my current field badly enough, obviously it would influence my attitude, thoughts and actions.
Four and a half years after my move to so Fl, there I was, feeling completely stuck in a place I didn't like, with people I couldn't relate to working in a job where I no longer saw a future or at least woke up enough to realize I never really had planned on one there in the first place. I felt trapped. And worst of all I was quickly approaching my 29th birthday, with pretty much nothing crossed off my 30 to 30 list!
I took my first real vacation in 5 years in February 2012. By real I mean not going home for a Holiday or to a wedding. I went to Southern California! LA for 2 weeks and a day in San Diego. I saw one of my very best friends and my brother, both of whom I have not seen in almost 4 years. I didn't want to leave. For a life long Floridian, the mountains were mesmerizing and awe inspiring. The people of LA were inspiring, people we often mock ("that'll never happen, they'll never make it"). But they had a vision, a passion, a dream, they followed their hearts and refused to be put in a box or live a life they could not identify with or believe in. I found myself a bit envious almost because they knew what they wanted. I loved how creativity was encouraged, getting dressed was fun again. I felt so alive and renewed. But like all great things it came to end.
I almost threw up when I had to put on my uniform for work again. Being removed from a situation (the farther the better, and I was pretty far) always helps you see the big picture. The magnitude of depression I felt when having to return was more than revealing, it prompted me to action. Waiting to board the plane, I blabbered to one of my best girls on the phone and asked if I would be crazy to just quit my job. At that point it didn't even matter if it was crazy or not, I didn't really know what I wanted, but I knew with all my heart, the life I was living wasn't it. Why waste any more time investing in something that wasn't part of my future. I was too young to feel so trapped and miserable!
On my 29th Birthday, I turned in my letter of resignation. 3 weeks later I arrived at my friends house in Myrtle Beach. And here I am, 29, unemployed in Myrtle Beach. I have a few ideas, but I don't really know what I am doing. Not a fiber in me regrets what I did. Obviously it is a bit scary but exhilarating. This blog is to share my journey as I navigate the road ahead. Wish me luck...
When growing up, you expect certain milestones in your life will, along the way, just happen. Graduate high school, go to college, graduate college, get a job and somewhere in there you get married and then sometime after that you get a house, have kids and live happily ever after. The realization that this just wasn't so made a few mildly memorable impressions before now; like looking for an internship and finding my first job (that stuff for me certainly didn't just happen.) I would speak of things I was going to accomplish and life events with certainties. These things just magically happen right? I mean especially by 30!
Graduating college was pretty much the end of any "actual plan" I ever had.
Now What?? I wasn't married, was having trouble finding a job and I found myself right back in my hometown (the one place I swore I wouldn't go, but finances said otherwise). At 24 I accepted a job with a City in South Florida. Finally! I was off to explore the world, live my life and surely these "life" things will follow.
Though it was not my dream job it was a solid start and the first step, a stepping stone for the rest. And it was, at first, but shortly after the move, Kat Splat tripped all over that stepping stone. Things did happen there, life happened; a bad break up, bad economy and a few other bad scenarios left me focusing on the day to day and less on the world of possibilities around me. Compared to Tally or Jax, Ft. Lauderdale was pretty fast and it was hard to connect.
Turning 27 hit me kind of hard. Realizing that practically none of the things that I thought would "happen" by 30, had actually "happened" and a lot of things I never thought would happen, did. So I sat down and compiled a list of all those things I wanted (expected) to accomplish by 30. While compiling this list, 3 things occurred to me.
1) Limitations of control. As much as I wanted to list "get married" or "land dream job" by 30, I couldn't. I alone do not have control over this. Though slightly discouraging, this lead me to my second realization.
2) Setting and accomplishing (realistic) goals is extremely empowering. Though I can not single handedly accomplish things like getting married there are a lot of things within my power. Not only were things within my ability it was my responsibility to recognize and accomplish these ambitions. Seems simple I know, it's the application of being proactive that's the hardest.
3) I didn't have 30 things to list!
I started adding and checking things off my list, revising it from time to time. Things at work improved then declined. I moved again, but I still felt completely disconnected with South FL. I didn't understand it's ways, it's people, it's priorities. I'd say to myself, I'll leave when this happens or when that happens, but those things rarely happened or if they did something else would come along leaving me to say the same thing.
The inertia began at a work conference in Sept 2011. When discussing certain work politics with a respected manager from another county, he asked a question that honestly changed my life. I was unhappy with a certain situation involving upper management and he asked me, "Well, what do you want?" Within the context of our conversation it was referring to my current career but it has resounded in my head to this day. What did I want? If I wanted to move up in my current field badly enough, obviously it would influence my attitude, thoughts and actions.
Four and a half years after my move to so Fl, there I was, feeling completely stuck in a place I didn't like, with people I couldn't relate to working in a job where I no longer saw a future or at least woke up enough to realize I never really had planned on one there in the first place. I felt trapped. And worst of all I was quickly approaching my 29th birthday, with pretty much nothing crossed off my 30 to 30 list!
I took my first real vacation in 5 years in February 2012. By real I mean not going home for a Holiday or to a wedding. I went to Southern California! LA for 2 weeks and a day in San Diego. I saw one of my very best friends and my brother, both of whom I have not seen in almost 4 years. I didn't want to leave. For a life long Floridian, the mountains were mesmerizing and awe inspiring. The people of LA were inspiring, people we often mock ("that'll never happen, they'll never make it"). But they had a vision, a passion, a dream, they followed their hearts and refused to be put in a box or live a life they could not identify with or believe in. I found myself a bit envious almost because they knew what they wanted. I loved how creativity was encouraged, getting dressed was fun again. I felt so alive and renewed. But like all great things it came to end.
I almost threw up when I had to put on my uniform for work again. Being removed from a situation (the farther the better, and I was pretty far) always helps you see the big picture. The magnitude of depression I felt when having to return was more than revealing, it prompted me to action. Waiting to board the plane, I blabbered to one of my best girls on the phone and asked if I would be crazy to just quit my job. At that point it didn't even matter if it was crazy or not, I didn't really know what I wanted, but I knew with all my heart, the life I was living wasn't it. Why waste any more time investing in something that wasn't part of my future. I was too young to feel so trapped and miserable!
On my 29th Birthday, I turned in my letter of resignation. 3 weeks later I arrived at my friends house in Myrtle Beach. And here I am, 29, unemployed in Myrtle Beach. I have a few ideas, but I don't really know what I am doing. Not a fiber in me regrets what I did. Obviously it is a bit scary but exhilarating. This blog is to share my journey as I navigate the road ahead. Wish me luck...
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