As I said in my first blog, I turned 29 two weeks after I returned from my LA vacation, and it really put perspective on one very important thing, I always had this visual idea and perception of who I would be or wanted to be at 30 and with only a year to go, I was far from it prompting me to immediate and drastic action. Did I have to move across the country to have the full experience? I don't know really but I do know that I never actually wanted to go back to Jacksonville or even Florida after college, exploring and the desire to see new land has been in my heart for a long time. For some reason I never felt like I could or was allowed or that it would be accepted. There were other situations, conditions and relationships that contributed to my "stuck" feeling. The bigger problem is I had spent much of my 20s rebelling, at first because I think to some degree it's natural to do the opposite of what your told to do all your life. Then it was just habit and then I realized I was a rebel without a cause. So in addition to gaining some life experience and perspective, it was important for me to examine certain beliefs and decide for myself what my causes were. After all, these are the things that shape your life and before I went any further with mine I needed to know which tools to pick up and put done to shape my future.
My main prayer, before even leaving FL was for God to reveal his will and direction for my life. Of course, nothing is ever that easy and with prayer, we often get more than what we had in mind, especially when asking for something like direction. Sometimes we are unaware of the things we need because we are so consumed with the things we want. This journey has essential been everything I have needed it to be, though not everything I've wanted it to be. It has been exciting, overwhelming, lonely, inspiring, trying and expensive. I wish I could paint a more lavish, glamours LA experience but the reality is that much of my last 8 months have been spent alone in my apartment with an almost empty bank account and no one on the other end of the phone, ensuring I had no where else to turn but to God and accept that I can not get by with my efforts alone. If you know me, you know this is hard for me to admit, but it was only at this point that the real work began.
As I set out on this journey and along the way I've had people say to me, "I hope you find what you are looking for." Even though I know it's sincere, the statement doesn't sit well with me mainly because I'm not some lost soul wandering the country in search of "something" external that will change my life. The one internal question that has perpetuated my thoughts, "What do you want?" was one I couldn't answer for nearly a year and half, at least not in it's deeper contextual level. I am pleased to say now though, I have my answer. It may seem obvious but it took a lot of thought purification to derive it.
My answer is peace, internal peace, harmony of the mind, body and soul. Aligning my heart and actions on all levels small and large alike. It seems over simplified I know but I had to make deliberate, intentional decisions about what I believe and not linger in indifference. I'm not saying I've got it all figured there are still so many things I don't understand when you get into what you believe on a spiritual level. Let's face it some of it just seems weird and super far fetched but I guess that's where faith comes into play, believing things you can't see or understand. So I began chipping away at all the "rules" I had tried to forget and ignore for some many years. The difference at this point is the life I have to show for the ignoring them the last 10 years isn't one that I am particularly proud of or consider fruitful.
Like trying to lose weight or gain muscle, you can't hit the gym once or even twice and really expect to see results. The same is true with any behavioral change but as I tried to follow the rules of my newly established and reestablished beliefs, it started to become more clear why those boundaries were there, because they were protecting something of great value. This began to reinforce my efforts like seeing results at the gym. Focusing on aligning my actions with values has also been freeing in the sense that it has really simplified my life.
Doing things because you know they are the right thing of course isn't easy but that is what makes it rewarding. I'm about surprised how small of areas this can creep into, the little things you tell yourself, that you figure if you don't end up doing won't really matter, besides who would know the difference. But aren't I a person like everyone else, I would tell a friend I'll work out them and don't, or would I? Do I? Staying true to my word, to myself has been the hardest part of this "alignment" so far but hardest so far but worth striving for, and as Stephen Covey says, victories over self are the greatest.
"Real success is success with self. It is not in having things, but in having mastery, having victory over self" - Stephen R Covey
"First keep the peace within yourself, then you can bring peace to others." - Thomas A. Kempis
"Try not to become a man of success but rather a man of value." - Albert Einstein
"Be true to your work, your word and your friend." - Henry David Thoreau
Monday, January 28, 2013
Thursday, January 3, 2013
#11 - Plan Something Awesome For 12/12/12
Considering it is the last time in our lifetime we will see the numbers align as such, I wanted to do something fun and memorable to signify the occasion. I'd say ice skating in the rain in Santa Monica with one of my favorite people is pretty awesome. Not to mention it was my first time ice skating at an outdoor rink. To top it off we ended the night overlooking the Santa Monica Pier and the Pacific Ocean. Thank you to Alyssa C. for helping me cross #11 of my list!
Photos
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
#18 - Joshua Tree National Park
Thanks to my good friend Lisa, I crossed #18 off my 30 to 30 list, Joshua's Tree National Park.
Since a kid I have always been fascinated with all things concerning "nature". I spent much of my youth at the the Nature Store in the Avenues Mall looking at amethyst rocks, turning over rain sticks, watching videos in the back corner about animals and astrology. Here in California, there are an abundance of National Parks offering glimpses of truly unique scientific wonders, the likes of which you won't see anywhere else. So naturally, a park was a must on the list. Considering there was a bit of a disease scare in Yosemite recently I figured I'd just wait on that one.
Joshua Tree is recommended to be seen in early October but better late than I never I suppose. I didn't know that Joshua Tree was an actual tree not just the name of the park. (It makes sense, but don't judge, I bet a lot of you didn't know that either.) The National Park is a preservation area where 3 ecosystem (2 deserts and a mountain range) come together. The San Andreas Fault runs perpendicular to 2 other faults creating some amazing formations. We just really hoped the big one didn't hit while we where there.
The unique plants and geological formations are said to be the inspiration for many of Dr.Seuss' illustrations including, The Lorax. I have always been a huge fan of Dr. Seuss for several reasons. First of all what kid doesn't love the colorful, imaginative, creative illustrations? But for me, the older I got the more I appreciated him as a writer. His wise words in simple rhythms is pure genius. I aspire my Katisms to one day have a fraction of the same awesomeness. Maybe now that I have been to Joshua Tree, I can harness and utilize some of the same creative energy.
Lisa and I were able to capture so many unbelievable photos. Though my creative outlet has predominantly been writing as of late, I have had fun tapping into my "artsy" side playing with the images in a photo editor. It's not exactly oil painting like I use to do but it is the technology age after all. If I ever get a painting station set up again they will make great subjects! But the best part of all the photos is I was able to capture my FAVORITE art subject the sun and the moon in a single shot. To me it is a reminder of balance, give and take, renewal and so much more. Think about all the things that each control, the tide for instance. Using the heat enhancement settings (thermal, infrared, combustion & satellite) has been so cool with those pics! That probably makes me an official nerd but then again I'm already writing a blog.
It was such a great adventure. You can't help but to feel have a renewed sense of inspiration. It was the perfect end to a whirlwind week of ushering in a much needed new era.
Wikipedia - Joshua Tree National Park
National Park Services - Joshua Tree
Thursday, September 27, 2012
What's Your Journey?
You've heard and read about my journey and my pre-30 bucket list, now I want to hear from you! I want to compile a blog dedicated to the things my friends, family and readers think on the subject of turning 30.
If you have already experienced this milestone I want to hear your reflections, wise words, regrets, things you would tell your 25 year old self. What are some things you are glad you did/ accomplished by 30? What are some things you wish you would have done or didn't do?
If you have not yet turned in your 20's card, what are your feelings on turning 30, are you excited, scared, indifferent? What things do you want to accomplish or glad you have done?
In preparing to turn the corner, what are you most fearful of and/or most looking forward to?
If you don't want your name next to your responses please just let me know you wish to be anonymous. I sincerely look forward to your thoughts and contributions!
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
The List
I hit the 6 months to go mark last week, so without further ado, here it is, THE list...
- Start a business (*waiting for 2013 to official file for tax purposes, Kategorize website to launch 9/14/12)
Visit Alyssa in L.A(2/13/12)Run half marathon(2/20/11)Quit job(3/5/12)Move out of Apartment/ South Florida(3/28/12)- Shooting Range
- Ballet and/or Barre Classes (At least 6)
- Salsa Lessons (At least 3)
Certified Park & Recreation Professional exam(7/10/10)- Learn to play a new muscial instrument
- Plan something awesome for 12/12/12
- Be in a dance flash mob
- Run a second half marathon
- Get Passport
- Plan Missions Trip
- Train Trip to Seatlle
Live audience taping in L.A. (8/4/12) *look for me on The Voice: Battle Round Episodes, behind Blake!- Hike or camp in Joshua's Tree (Early October)
- Camping in Yosemite Park
- Tour Googleplex in Mountain View, CA.
- Paintball
- Rock Wall Climbing
- DJ an event
- Tai Chi Class
Boxing(6/2012) *joined boxing gym for 3 months- Visit Christy in Washington D.C.
- Choose grad school program.
- Take beginner class for Adobe Suite.
- Whale Watching *with roommate Jessica
- *Wild Card*
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Top 20 things I've learned about LA, so far.
Here are a few things I have learned since being here in LA. Some are generalities and some are fact!
1. That's not a summer afternoon thunderstorm I see brewing, it's smog.
2. It never rains. (I miss a good thunderstorm.)
3. Any job in the hospitality field, and others, requires a head shot.
4. Business casual means jeans.
5. There isn't a quality one stop shop for groceries & services. (I miss Publix!)
6. It's a good idea to be home by dark.
7. You are a social minority if you do not own I dog.
8. Drivers are infatuated with using their horns, they are not afraid to use them.
9. Do not go east of Fairfax on Sunset Blvd if possible.
10. Wine is everywhere.
11. California avocados are delicious.
12. Football does not seem to be important to most.
13. Shopping is amazing!!
14. I am a minority.
15. Every street has it's own fashion & culture.
16. The vegetation is beautiful and remarkable!
17. Cost of living is very expensive (tax rates, rent & goods in general).
18. Cab drivers are actually pretty nice and for some reason never expect a tip.
19. It's not your paranoia acting up, people really are staring at you.
20. There is a general lack in sidewalk etiquette, moving over or making room is a foreign concept. If a group walks by 3 wide no one bothers to move to accommodate someone going in the other direction, they will run you into the grass.
1. That's not a summer afternoon thunderstorm I see brewing, it's smog.
2. It never rains. (I miss a good thunderstorm.)
3. Any job in the hospitality field, and others, requires a head shot.
4. Business casual means jeans.
5. There isn't a quality one stop shop for groceries & services. (I miss Publix!)
6. It's a good idea to be home by dark.
7. You are a social minority if you do not own I dog.
8. Drivers are infatuated with using their horns, they are not afraid to use them.
9. Do not go east of Fairfax on Sunset Blvd if possible.
10. Wine is everywhere.
11. California avocados are delicious.
12. Football does not seem to be important to most.
13. Shopping is amazing!!
14. I am a minority.
15. Every street has it's own fashion & culture.
16. The vegetation is beautiful and remarkable!
17. Cost of living is very expensive (tax rates, rent & goods in general).
18. Cab drivers are actually pretty nice and for some reason never expect a tip.
19. It's not your paranoia acting up, people really are staring at you.
20. There is a general lack in sidewalk etiquette, moving over or making room is a foreign concept. If a group walks by 3 wide no one bothers to move to accommodate someone going in the other direction, they will run you into the grass.
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Lost In Transition
I can't believe it has been 3 months since I have left my job! Where does the time go?
The first month was spent determining weather or not to have surgery the second month then was spent on figuring out where to go (exactly) and how to get there. The third month has mostly been consumed with finding a place to live and a means of income.
I have been following the advice once again from the 48 Days To The Work You Love book. The advice this time is it should take 2 weeks max. to make a decision, any decision. So I have been following this rule of thumb first in the choice of picking a place to go. Choosing California was easy, picking a city was more difficult. Upon arrival I used the same 2 week principle for finding an apartment which was very difficult considering the LA area is densely populated with neighborhoods and smaller cities I know nothing about. None the less, I was able to secure a place within my 2 week time frame, however the move in date does not fall in the same window.
I am currently in my 3rd week of limbo here in LA with an apartment secured but possibly another week till move in. I now enter the interesting world of finding employment in Los Angeles. This could seriously be a side blog unto it's own. The quick version, check craigslist.
It's just so odd how you think you are making these big decisions so you can get to where you want to be both in life and literally. Making a (bold) decision to not do something will open doors (sometimes by shutting other doors) for you but it doesn't necessarily lead to your desired destination. You have to keep making choices and decisions everyday to propel you down the road you set out for. People (myself included) don't often anticipate the continued dedication it takes to your intended goals, vision and to the process of decision making to keep you moving forward. I suppose that is due to the fact that you are no longer on autopilot and have to navigate through the uncharted. There are some days I don't want to keep making these unknown decisions but you have to otherwise more and more time will pass and you will be no further along and what you once thought was a transition period becomes your life.
Other than that it's time to complete my 30 to 30 list and get it done! I can't help but to feel like I am in a good city to get some diverse activities added and crossed off the list!
I would love suggestions of things to add to the bucket list.
Cheers!
The first month was spent determining weather or not to have surgery the second month then was spent on figuring out where to go (exactly) and how to get there. The third month has mostly been consumed with finding a place to live and a means of income.
I have been following the advice once again from the 48 Days To The Work You Love book. The advice this time is it should take 2 weeks max. to make a decision, any decision. So I have been following this rule of thumb first in the choice of picking a place to go. Choosing California was easy, picking a city was more difficult. Upon arrival I used the same 2 week principle for finding an apartment which was very difficult considering the LA area is densely populated with neighborhoods and smaller cities I know nothing about. None the less, I was able to secure a place within my 2 week time frame, however the move in date does not fall in the same window.
I am currently in my 3rd week of limbo here in LA with an apartment secured but possibly another week till move in. I now enter the interesting world of finding employment in Los Angeles. This could seriously be a side blog unto it's own. The quick version, check craigslist.
It's just so odd how you think you are making these big decisions so you can get to where you want to be both in life and literally. Making a (bold) decision to not do something will open doors (sometimes by shutting other doors) for you but it doesn't necessarily lead to your desired destination. You have to keep making choices and decisions everyday to propel you down the road you set out for. People (myself included) don't often anticipate the continued dedication it takes to your intended goals, vision and to the process of decision making to keep you moving forward. I suppose that is due to the fact that you are no longer on autopilot and have to navigate through the uncharted. There are some days I don't want to keep making these unknown decisions but you have to otherwise more and more time will pass and you will be no further along and what you once thought was a transition period becomes your life.
Other than that it's time to complete my 30 to 30 list and get it done! I can't help but to feel like I am in a good city to get some diverse activities added and crossed off the list!
I would love suggestions of things to add to the bucket list.
Cheers!
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